Fleeting: Creating Bios for Playbills

I’m bored… entertain me.

Sound familiar? If you are friends with me then at some point in time I have said these very words either out of jest or actual boredom. Considering this is me the latter is more likely to be true.

When in community theatre, the actors and production team are usually asked to provide a bio for the playbill so that audience members coming to see the production would have an idea as to who has done what in the past, or their thoughts of the show/people, etc.

However… for me… that has become rather dull and boring, and I rather blame a good friend of mine for that. In the very few shows I have either been with him or seen him in he has always provided an entertaining and off the wall bio that is sure to crack a smile on anyone.

Me on the other hand? Bleh… I go the “traditional” route as I would put it.

There is one bio that I am itching to use one day if someone would let me:

[…] is a multi-linguist that has traveled throughout the Eastern hemisphere as a tour guide and is highly knowledgeable in not only the various dialects but a vast variety of cultures as well. She is also well versed in a plethora of martial arts / fighting styles and is skilled with the katana which has scalped many heads of her opponents.

Oh the inside jokes to be had. If you are confused there was a post about ignorance I wrote a few months ago that touches on the above that as now become a running joke that I use to sort of “break the ice” in a way.

In face I had originally posted it as a status message on Facebook towards the beginning of the year and the comments were entertaining as well. In fact I officially call it my “Do you speak Asian” joke / story and the best response ever?

THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Do you know how many languages, not to mention regional dialects from little towns scatter across the area, there are in Asia? You could translate like a BOSS! People visit Asia, you are their tour guide, they ask ‘What languages do you speak?’ you reply ‘ALL OF THEM!’

The typical response to the “Do you speak Asian” joke/story? A lot of facepalming or shaking of the head. Ah well.

Another bio that I like to use that kind of dips into some of my past work but not blatantly requires time-traveling:

[…] usually disappears from reality in favor of time-traveling: Thus far she has visited England in the 17th or 19th century, relaxed on the French Rivera in the late-20th century, and took a couple of detours to experience the last days of Jesus. She has also visited 1940s Hollywood and 1990s New York, and aided soldiers in the Vietnam War. But she is a frequent visitor of the 24th century. She sends her apologies to those close to her for disappearing from their lives due to her frequent travels.

If you take a look at my Thespian page you’ll notice that pretty much every role I have done has been mentioned in some way in the above bio in accordance to time period. Yes… I am that bored.

Again… I blame my friend… KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!