Vignette: Reincarnation

AUTHOR NOTES: I wrote this back in 2003 for my original website. I am just reposting for prosperity.


Before I could say anything about me, let me make something clear. Marianya is a name that I had adopted years ago. It is the name that I am known in the online world. My given name at birth will never be divulged.

I don’t really remember how my life was like without all the friends I have made or rather reacquainted myself with since my Reawakening. I too am of oriental descent, mistakenly for Chinese or Philippino. I was and still am a dreamer in every sense of the word. I always dream of a better life in the future, one where pain does not exist, happiness and joy reign supreme. I dream of a world that does not know of wars, that does not know of hatred. But alas at the time, the dreams were just that, dreams.

I grew up, most of my young life from birth until high school, pretty much alone. Sure I had friends, some that I talk to, but no one, I felt, really understood me. They were already in their own little group, in their own little world. I did not mind the loneliness, I grew accustomed to it, it became the center of my being. Sure there were times when I was in pain, and depressed, but I thought that perhaps everyone goes through this once in a while…

However that pain became a daily dose of reality for me, something that became a constant, that became me. Once in a while I would find a small corner of my home and cry, knowing quite well that I was alone in the world.

I went through accidents that I should have died from, but something, someone was preventing that from happening. Each day became another day through obstacles, another day through life, through pain. Thus how my poetry began. There were times when I found a focus, another purpose to keep me out of trouble, to forget about my worries and my life.

But I knew that these were not last, they would never last.

High school came to an end for me, though most were not thrilled of leaving the ‘Four Best Years’ of their lives behind them. I for one was extremely happy. I never wanted to go through those torturous corridors another day of my life. I wanted to start my life anew, take another chance of becoming happy. Thus the university.

My university life, started out reasonably the same as in high school, I was still very much alone, not knowing as to where I fit in or to whom I was friends with. I knew however that it was only the first year and that I still had three plus years left to go. So came summer school.

During summer school a friendship grew between myself and another person. Also during that time in my life I met the most outgoing and happiest person in the world, another Usagi if you will. For with out her, I may never have gone through my university life happier, and intact.

It was during the summer that I started to learn about the Japanese animation, Sailor Moon. One thing led to another and I was hooked. I loved the story line, and enjoyed reading about her. For without my sudden interest in Sailor Moon I would never have found that chance to find a strong bond and friendship between myself and others of like mind.

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